Being a working mom has it’s pros and cons. Working gives me a sense of accomplishment that is different than I get from being a mother. And interacting with other adults keeps me from reverting to “kid speak”, although adult interaction at work has its downsides too, like dealing with dumb people. But I digress… Now that my kids are older (11 and 17), I can look at what I know now and wish that I knew it then. With that being said, I figured I’d share my insights with you guys in hopes it will help, or at least you can nod your head in agreement or laugh at my stories 🙂
1. ASK FOR HELP. I cannot stress this enough. It took me a long time to get this one down, and I still struggle with it at times but I have learned that it is quite necessary for my sanity. And this is the number one advice I give to ALL of my friends, especially one in particular – girl, you know who you are lol. Asking for help does not mean you are weak, and it is not imposing on anyone else. They have the right to say No, and sometimes they will, and that’s okay. But the answer is always no if you never ask. So, if another parent is going to an event and you know you’ll be jam packed that day, ask that parent if they would mind giving your kid a ride. If it makes you feel better offering something in return, let them know you’ll return the favor when needed. Ask your spouse, significant other, or your other kids to pitch in when you need it. I know sometimes us Moms like to micromanage things and/or have them done a certain way, but sometimes your sanity needs you to let go. It’s okay if your son’s dish drying skills leave spots on the dishes. If your friends are going to think differently of you because of spots, you need new friends. Or tell them if they care so much, they can feel free to do the dishes themselves.
2. Don’t be so hard on yourself! So you forgot to wash your kids’ pajamas for pajama day. In the scheme of things, this is one little hiccup in the road of their school life. There will be another pajama day, and your child will most certainly not die from not wearing their pajamas. That saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and it’s accompanying saying “Everything is small stuff” is very true. Your child won’t remember you forgot to wash their pajamas for pajama day a year from now.
3. Stop trying to be perfect – be your own best Mom! We all want to be the best Mom we can be. But everyone’s best is different. Don’t compare yourself to other Moms and try to emulate that, it’s unrealistic. If your kid has to bring food in for a room party and you are completely exhausted, do not stay up til 1am making homemade cookies. Go to the store and buy something. The kids will like it just the same, sometimes better. My daughter is the favorite of the party when she brings in those iced sugar cookies from the store. Take the wins where you can, I say!
4. Remember its the day to day little things your kids will remember. My daughter started saying “this was the best day ever” more frequently when I started doing little things with and for her. I used to do big scale things like take her to Sea World, fairs, the zoo, and she just didn’t seem appreciative. When I started making sure to do little things for her like pick up her favorite snack at the store, or take the time to watch her precious LPS (Littlest Pet Shop) videos on a more regular basis, she started to appreciate them. It’s weird, but it works. I’m not saying don’t do the big things, just don’t forget the little things that let them know you care and you’re thinking about them. Kids like to know you care just like you do in a relationship. When your husband picks up your favorite xyz, it makes you feel good right? Same thing goes for kids – they like to know they are important, and in your crazy crazy day you took time to do something for them.
5. Last but most definitely not least – TAKE CARE OF YOU! I always use the airplane safety analogy when I explain this one. They always tell you in the event of an emergency landing to put your mask on first. You can’t help someone else if you have passed out due to a lack of oxygen. The same can be applied to life. If you don’t take care of your health and mental well being, you will be no good to anyone else. I make sure to do things I like to do. For me, an introvert, I like to play games on my computer, read, watch a movie, or craft, and especialllyyyy go to the beach and just stare out into the beauty before me. These recharge me, these make me happy. For you, it may be going out to eat, or dancing, or watching a comedy show live. Whatever works for YOU-do that! I make sure to fit these things in regularly and when I find myself snapping at my kids or my husband, I schedule them in IMMEDIATELY. It helps you and it helps those around you for you to be happy and fulfilled.
I hope these little nuggets helped, if even only as a reminder of what you already knew. Being a Mom can be crazy, and juggling the rest of life with it makes it even more challenging, but we can get through this one baby step at a time.. and do it together. Feel free to share your tips on how you keep your sanity!
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